A Public Alert on Epsom Salt by @Faryna

A Public Alert on Epsom Salt by @Faryna


by Stan Faryna

Stan Faryna & The Blue Sky - Stan The Marketing Man!


“Kill him! Kill him! Kill him dead!”

An elderly man in jeans and a white tee shirt with Captain America’s shield on his chest shouted at the angry crowd surrounding the terrorist, his white hair tossing across his forehead as he shook his clenched fist.
The terrorist had been caught in the pharmacy – trying to buy one dozen one pound bags of epsom salts. To make a bomb – undoubtedly!
Epsom Salt
A translucent white, plastic garbage bag dotted with yellow smiley faces covered the terrorist from head to crotch. It was bound with an electrical cord around his waist.A baseball bat swung and connected with the area presumably where the terrorist’s face might be. Red splattered across the inside of the bag and began to soak the front of the terrorist’s gray and black, snap button, plaid wool shirt.
The crowd closed in. A knee was brought up into the terrorist’s stomach, an elbow down on his chest and a kick shattered the knee cap.
As the terrorist fell, a man in a black suit kicked him in the small of the back and a mother, infant in her arms, kicked him in the head. On the ground, a grandmother of four granddaughters brought down her combat boot on his abdomen – ripping the shirt apart.Pools of blood spread out under the head and stomach.They were patriots. They were good citizens. The G-man – gray suit, white tie, and black shoes – congratulated them on their valor.
Everyone in the crowd congratulated each other. The only good terrorist is a dead terrorist – a phrase that was repeated endlessly and affirmed from one person to another.
The elderly man approached the body with morbid curiosity, knelt down and untied the twine. He wanted to see the horror on the terrorist’s face. Or what was left of that face. He wanted to savor the victory in all it’s terrible splendor.

The terrorists had caused them so many troubles – 22 percent unemployment, 200 percent price inflation, 13 percent value added tax, epidemics, power outages, unclean water, and nuclear power plant failures. If it happened and it was bad, the terrorists had done it.A Congresswoman from Arizona had even suggested that the terrorists were now using alien technology.
That’s what they had been told. Everyone knew it was true.
The grandmother in her pink jogging suit and Pikachu hoodie bent over and began to pull the unbound bag up. She did it enthusiastically despite the protests of the G-man. A few more inches revealed a gently and perfectly rounded stomach – a pregnant stomach. The congratulations, jokes and boasts stopped dead. The terrorist wasn’t a man, after all.

When the unrecognizable head slid out from the bag, blonde hair streaked with blood slapped against the asphalt. The only thing to identify the woman was a silver locket that held the picture of the elderly man now weeping and gnashing his teeth beside her – her father.

More awesome by mad geniuses here on the GANG!

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Other posts by Stan that you will find illuminating, uplifting or both:

You Can Do Amazing Things

A Tribute to Maya Angelou

A Short Story of the Antichrist

About Stan Faryna

Stan Faryna is writing an epic novel. All of the world is crumbling like unrepaired, ancient walls but 18 year old gamer, PVP champion, zombie killer, blogger and serial entrepreneur John Dionysius finds the woman who he’s been dreaming about all of his life – a dream in which she is murdered as he watches helplessly from the eyes of a child.

Twitter: @Faryna
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Website: The Unofficial Blog of Stan Faryna