Flash Fiction: Big Stone Book of Trollish Insults by @StartYourNovel

Big Stone Book of Trollish Insults


FlasFiction


by John Magnet Bell
@startyournovel

John Magnet Bell

Shame of the Fireside, black tusker, hunter of clouds — I earned these names and worse because I fell in love with a human alchemist’s son.

My sisters drove me from the home fire and I lived on wolves and other vermin. I looked for my beloved without cease.

I imagine the alchemist’s son
would look something like this.
Image sourced from this io9 article, which includes a dozen more intriguing pictures of 1970s cosplayers
NB.: If you’re uncomfortable with loincloths, diaphanous tunics and exposed breasts, don’t go there.

###

More awesome by mad geniuses here on the GANG!

Creepy by @Faryna
What can Robert de Niro teach you about writing?
One Red Shoe
What can Monty Python teach you about writing?



More flash fiction by John Magnet Bell:

The Second Coming of Gweed
The Chomping Mouth at the End of June
The Angels of Provenance
Have You Seen my Wife’s Mustache?

About John Magnet Bell

John is a professional translator, writer and photographer. He writes about writing and he writes unconventional flashes of fiction at his website, Start Your Novel. Why? John explains his passion here.

Twitter: @StartYourNovel
Google+: JMBell
Tumblr: http://johnmagnetbell.tumblr.com/
Website: Start Your Novel

Please support John so that he can keep writing epic prompts! You can buy his shocking art at society6: http://society6.com/johnmagnetbell

The Next Step by John Magnet Bell

The Next Step by John Magnet Bell

Flash Fiction: Creepy by @Faryna

Creepy by @Faryna

FlasFiction

by Stan Faryna
@Faryna

Stan Faryna & The Blue Sky - Stan The Marketing Man!

 

Anais texted Anca and Cristina.

Bonjour! Cristina, you can do way better than John.

Stop looking at him!

Anca:

John’s serious. In a creepy way. He’s not fun. Not funny.

Did I mention that he fucked up everything in the game?

Yeah, he’s a creeper…

Anais:

Oh, I know! Like how he expects us to play nice. Or give the noobs a chance to figure things out. Fuck that!

They aren’t paying my rent!

John’s a total control freak.

Fuck that! I’ll do whatever I want. It’s bank or bust and I do bank, fuck you very much, Mr. Do Right.

What kind of future can you have with a boy that makes life harder than it has to be? Or even a game?!

Anca:

What you want is a wolf. Every woman wants a wolf in her bed.

Anais:

Awooo!

Anais and Anca laughed.

Anais:

John’s no wolf.

He’s just a creeper. Like a funeral director.

Like that old woman that goes to the church every morning with her husband and she always gives me stink eye on her way because her husband can’t wait to see a little cheek as the hem of my mini skirt inches up with each step.

It’s out of her hands. She can’t change her husband and she can’t tell me what to wear. Fuck that creepy, old bag!

Cristina Viktor

Cristina Viktor

Cristina:

Hmmm, still, I like him. What if he’s the one for me?!

Ok, there’s something about him that is different. So he’s not just another jerk that’s just looking out for himself and thinks everyone else can go to hell. If he cares about other people, like you say, tell me why that’s a bad thing?

So John’s different. Fine. But if that difference has dignity – you know, I think that’s hot. Really fucking hot!

I want more than dick.

I want a man. I want true love. I want it all. I want forever. I deserve it. We all do.

Why settle for dick?

Anais:

Tel qui rit vendredi dimanche pleurera!

[Laugh on Friday, cry on Sunday.]

###

More awesome by mad geniuses here on the GANG!

YOHTAI Issue No. 4 #Hearthstone

One Red Shoe

With Music by @RussellBennetts & @Klassnik

What can Monty Python teach you about writing?

 

 

Other posts by Stan that you will find illuminating, uplifting or both:

You Can Do Amazing Things

A Tribute to Maya Angelou

A Letter from Osama bin Laden

A Short Story of the Antichrist

 

About Stan Faryna

Stan Faryna is writing an epic novel. All of the world is crumbling like unrepaired, ancient walls but 18 year old gamer, PVP champion, zombie killer, blogger and serial entrepreneur John Dionysius finds the woman who he’s been dreaming about all of his life – a dream in which she is murdered as he watches helplessly from the eyes of a child.

Twitter: @Faryna
Facebook: Faryna.FanPage
Google+: +StanFaryna
Website: The Unofficial Blog of Stan Faryna

You can support Stan by helping his friend, Nisha Varghese (click on Nisha’s pic to make a donation at her website).

Nisha Varghese

Nisha Varghese is an inspiration to Stan because she lives out the truth that she is bigger than her challenges. Among them, Cerebral Palsy. She too can save the world. Make it a better place for all of us. Nisha is a light and a gift unto the world.

Nisha’s website is here.

 

Flash Fiction: Old Testament, Nevada by @StartYourNovel

Old Testament, Nevada


FlasFiction


by John Magnet Bell
@startyournovel

John Magnet Bell


There’s something about the desert at night that keeps the dog listening. She’s black against the silver sand of a clear night and sits on her haunches and sometimes essays a bark that dies in her throat.

“Toffee,” I whisper to my dog. I sit beside her. Be midnight soon.

Fila Brasileiro

Fila Brasileiro

###

More awesome by mad geniuses here on the GANG!

YOHTAI Issue No. 4 #Hearthstone
One Red Shoe
With Music by @RussellBennetts & @Klassnik0
What can Monty Python teach you about writing?



More flash fiction by John Magnet Bell:

A Prayer to the Coastal Winds
Stratospheric Beast
The Angels of Provenance
Parable of the Hungry Dark

About John Magnet Bell

John is a professional translator, writer and photographer. He writes about writing and he writes unconventional flashes of fiction at his website, Start Your Novel. Why? John explains his passion here.

Twitter: @StartYourNovel
Google+: JMBell
Tumblr: http://johnmagnetbell.tumblr.com/
Website: Start Your Novel

Please support John so that he can keep writing epic prompts! You can buy his shocking art at society6: http://society6.com/johnmagnetbell

Typhon by John Magnet Bell

Typhon by John Magnet Bell

Flash Fiction: What is Love? by @Faryna

The Unspoken Problems of True Love by @Faryna

FlasFiction

by Stan Faryna
@Faryna

Stan Faryna & The Blue Sky - Stan The Marketing Man!

 

 

Mother Washington laughed as she watched John and Cristina run – they ran with joy. Cristina threw her arms high into the air as she bounced on John’s shoulders. She squealed in delight. Cristina had never felt more free, more lucky and more happy in her life.

Mother Washington

Mother Washington

“You hang on to that young man, Cristina,” Mother Washington said to herself.

“You hold on to that young woman, John.”

Mother Washington sighed and a tear came to her eye.

“You hold on to each other real tight. Because ain’t no one ever been more meant for anyone than you were meant for each other.

You gotta know that the Devil, he ain’t going to stand for any nonsense like that. He gonna tear you apart – first chance he gets. And if’n he can’t tear you apart, he’s gonna tear you each up. With his bare hands.”

###

More awesome by mad geniuses here on the GANG!

YOHTAI Issue No. 4 #Hearthstone

One Red Shoe

With Music by @RussellBennetts & @Klassnik

What can Monty Python teach you about writing?

 

 

Other posts by Stan that you will find illuminating, uplifting or both:

You Can Do Amazing Things

A Tribute to Maya Angelou

A Letter from Osama bin Laden

A Short Story of the Antichrist

 

About Stan Faryna

Stan Faryna is writing an epic novel. All of the world is crumbling like unrepaired, ancient walls but 18 year old gamer, PVP champion, zombie killer, blogger and serial entrepreneur John Dionysius finds the woman who he’s been dreaming about all of his life – a dream in which she is murdered as he watches helplessly from the eyes of a child.

Twitter: @Faryna
Facebook: Faryna.FanPage
Google+: +StanFaryna
Website: The Unofficial Blog of Stan Faryna

You can support Stan by helping his friend, Nisha Varghese (click on Nisha’s pic to make a donation).

Nisha Varghese

Nisha Varghese is an inspiration to Stan because she lives out the truth that she is bigger than her challenges. Among them, Cerebral Palsy. She too can save the world. Make it a better place for all of us. Nisha is a light and a gift unto the world.

Nisha’s website is here.

A Public Alert on Epsom Salt by @Faryna

A Public Alert on Epsom Salt by @Faryna

FlasFiction

by Stan Faryna
@Faryna

Stan Faryna & The Blue Sky - Stan The Marketing Man!

 

“Kill him! Kill him! Kill him dead!”

An elderly man in jeans and a white tee shirt with Captain America’s shield on his chest shouted at the angry crowd surrounding the terrorist, his white hair tossing across his forehead as he shook his clenched fist.
The terrorist had been caught in the pharmacy – trying to buy one dozen one pound bags of epsom salts. To make a bomb – undoubtedly!
Epsom Salt
A translucent white, plastic garbage bag dotted with yellow smiley faces covered the terrorist from head to crotch. It was bound with an electrical cord around his waist.A baseball bat swung and connected with the area presumably where the terrorist’s face might be. Red splattered across the inside of the bag and began to soak the front of the terrorist’s gray and black, snap button, plaid wool shirt.
The crowd closed in. A knee was brought up into the terrorist’s stomach, an elbow down on his chest and a kick shattered the knee cap.
As the terrorist fell, a man in a black suit kicked him in the small of the back and a mother, infant in her arms, kicked him in the head. On the ground, a grandmother of four granddaughters brought down her combat boot on his abdomen – ripping the shirt apart.Pools of blood spread out under the head and stomach.They were patriots. They were good citizens. The G-man – gray suit, white tie, and black shoes – congratulated them on their valor.
Everyone in the crowd congratulated each other. The only good terrorist is a dead terrorist – a phrase that was repeated endlessly and affirmed from one person to another.
The elderly man approached the body with morbid curiosity, knelt down and untied the twine. He wanted to see the horror on the terrorist’s face. Or what was left of that face. He wanted to savor the victory in all it’s terrible splendor.

The terrorists had caused them so many troubles – 22 percent unemployment, 200 percent price inflation, 13 percent value added tax, epidemics, power outages, unclean water, and nuclear power plant failures. If it happened and it was bad, the terrorists had done it.A Congresswoman from Arizona had even suggested that the terrorists were now using alien technology.
That’s what they had been told. Everyone knew it was true.
The grandmother in her pink jogging suit and Pikachu hoodie bent over and began to pull the unbound bag up. She did it enthusiastically despite the protests of the G-man. A few more inches revealed a gently and perfectly rounded stomach – a pregnant stomach. The congratulations, jokes and boasts stopped dead. The terrorist wasn’t a man, after all.

When the unrecognizable head slid out from the bag, blonde hair streaked with blood slapped against the asphalt. The only thing to identify the woman was a silver locket that held the picture of the elderly man now weeping and gnashing his teeth beside her – her father.

More awesome by mad geniuses here on the GANG!

One Red Shoe

Everything You Do Is A Snowball

What can Monty Python teach you about writing?

 

 

Other posts by Stan that you will find illuminating, uplifting or both:

You Can Do Amazing Things

A Tribute to Maya Angelou

A Short Story of the Antichrist

About Stan Faryna

Stan Faryna is writing an epic novel. All of the world is crumbling like unrepaired, ancient walls but 18 year old gamer, PVP champion, zombie killer, blogger and serial entrepreneur John Dionysius finds the woman who he’s been dreaming about all of his life – a dream in which she is murdered as he watches helplessly from the eyes of a child.

Twitter: @Faryna
Facebook: Faryna.FanPage
Google+: +StanFaryna
Website: The Unofficial Blog of Stan Faryna

Paradise Encrypted by @StartYourNovel

Paradise Encrypted


FlasFiction


by John Magnet Bell
@startyournovel

John Magnet Bell

I fell asleep to the whistle and crack of far-off mortar fire, shivering under the standard-issue blanket. I fell asleep cursing the thermal implants that refused to warm me, but the wretched bastards on the other side of the wall had worse things to worry about.

###

 

More flash fiction by John Magnet Bell that you will find perfectly woody:


Polyester Sun

Stratospheric Beast
The Angels of Provenance

About John Magnet Bell

John is a professional translator, writer and photographer. He writes about writing and he writes unconventional flashes of fiction at his website, Start Your Novel. Why? John explains his passion here.

Twitter: @StartYourNovel
Google+: JMBell
Tumblr: http://johnmagnetbell.tumblr.com/
Website: Start Your Novel

Please support John so that he can keep writing epic prompts! You can buy his shocking art at society6: http://society6.com/johnmagnetbell

Krag Tee Shirt by @StartYourNovel

Krag Tee Shirt by @StartYourNovel

Do you have an awesome story to share with us? Join the ranks of mad geniuses that make Geeky Antics rock. Email your proposal to stan.faryna@gmail.com

Do zombies do face palms? by @Faryna

Just because she’s dead doesn’t means she’s stupid.

FlasFiction

by Stan Faryna
@Faryna

Stan Faryna & The Blue Sky - Stan The Marketing Man!

The back of her head was pressed against the door, she did a face palm. Was it an aha moment? Or was it an acceptance of an inescapable inevitability? Or a physical reflex of memories or déjà vu.

Do zombies do face palms?

She was beautiful. It didn’t matter to him that her irises were silver or her pupils were rings of yellow and black. It didn’t matter that her lips were violet without lip stick. Her form and features were perfect.

The disease had not robbed her of everything. There were also memories – memories, fears and anger that were uncorrupted by the HK-63351 fungal-virus. 

It didn’t matter she was a zombie, Daryl thought she was hot. The violet hair was a total turn on.

“I know you can hear me,” he said from the other side of the door as he pulled the handcuffs out of his back pocket.

 

zombie girl

The Dilemma of Biological Imperatives



I know you’re in there. Somewhere inside that body. I know that you don’t have to be controlled by this thing. That you are more than your hunger.

I know that you can still love and be loved.”

She gasped for air. A tear slipped from the yellow-white edge of her eye.

“I’m going to open the door and if you can’t say something, maybe you can hear me out. Maybe, you can just listen to what I have to say. Consider my proposal…”

The door unlocked. She slid along the wall out of the way of the door.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Daryl said as he gently opened the door and admired her.

He was going to tap that.

She turned to him, gently put her hands on his unshaven face and lifted her lips to his.

He closed his eyes and she bit off his nose.

###


Other posts by Stan that you will find illuminating, uplifting or both
:

You Can Do Amazing Things
A Tribute to Maya Angelou
A Short Story of the Antichrist

About Stan Faryna

Stan Faryna is writing an epic novel. All of the world is crumbling like unrepaired, ancient walls but 18 year old gamer, blogger and entrepreneur John Dionysius finds the woman who he’s been dreaming about all of his life – a dream in which she is murdered as he watches helplessly from the eyes of a child.

Twitter: @Faryna
Facebook: Faryna.FanPage
Google+: +StanFaryna
Website: The Unofficial Blog of Stan Faryna

You can support Stan by helping his friend, Nisha Varghese, meet her campaign goals in a fundraiser to eradicate AIDS: http://www.justgiving.com/Eradicate-AIDS

Nisha Varghese

 

The GANG Minute: Leaked Curse Of Naxxramas Photos, Steam Game Giveaways, And Flash Fiction

Missed the latest TGM (The GANG Minute) video? We got you covered! This week’s was a quick one.. Not really.

Be sure to read the full TGM newsletter here for updates on Steam game giveaways!

 

Summer Vacation – How Do YOU Spend It?

July 2014 is going to be epic for the GANG..  But we’re taking baby steps.  It’s summer vacation for most of the world (well, at least here in the United States) so that means spending quality time with your family and loved ones..  And trying to stay sane. So how are you planning to spend your Summer, gang? Here at Geeky Antics we are going to squeeze in as much gaming as possible..  Many of us have fallen behind on our streaming but we will make up for it soon, we promise!  After all, we can’t let all those awesome games we picked up at GOG, Steam, Humble Bundle, or wherever go to waste!

As I mentioned in the TGM video, we will be releasing new podcasts this Summer.  Anyone into Doctor Who, Hearthstone, and/or game mechanics, amongst other topics should consider joining us!

monty-python-shaven apes

Flash Fiction & Other Creative Writing Pieces Are LIVE!

Our storytelling area is officially live and in full effect.  Right now, Stan Faryna (@Faryna) and J M Bell (@StartYourNovel) are our main contributors but we’ll also be featuring third-party stuff.  We’re leaning towards lesser-known authors such as Wil Wheaton and Nika Harper.  As always, this is our way of spreading the love and giving the “little guys” more UMPH.

http://GeekyAntics.net/storytelling

Oh, and we have Monty Python!  I know we have some aspiring authors/writers out there so don’t be shy.  Share your creativity, fan fiction, and love!

…And now for something completely different…

 

Hearthstone Curse Of Naxxramas BREAKING NEWS

Blizzard finally got around to announcing their announcements and confirming the Curse Of Naxxramas pricing model.  As confirmed by Polygon:

One wing will cost $6.99 or 700 in-game gold. Blizzard will be selling bundles for people who want to buy multiple wings at once. Those who start playing during Curse of Naxxramas’ launch event can pay $19.99 for the four wings following the Arachnid Quarter.

If you pay for each Curse Of Naxxramas installment on it’s own, you’re looking at spending around $28 so the “season pass” seems like a great deal.  To clarify, there is one free wing to boot and then four additional ones.  Blizzard will make this a month-long roll-out..  It will be EPIC!

As promised, here are the leaked Curse Of Naxxramas photos! [Read more…]

Everything You Do Is A Snowball by @StartYourNovel

Everything You Do Is A Snowball


Flash Fiction


by John Magnet Bell
@startyournovel

John Magnet Bell

I must shield my true purpose – the cops must not capture the data stored in my elbow. Oh! Not the data in my elbow. Wait… Those women in the orange truck! They are cops. I can smell it. I take shoes off and pad over the snow. Surprise!

###

Inspiration

Have a look at the news item that inspired the prompt:
Half-dressed woman attacks vehicle on I-5

Certain drugs can trigger psychosis. Yet others can trigger schizophrenia in susceptible people.

What are the symptoms of a psychotic break?


From Wikipedia:

Symptoms of psychotic breaks vary greatly, usually depending on the circumstances of diagnosis or any contributory substance ingested. Symptoms can range from harmless, sometimes unnoticed delusions, to violent outbursts and major depression.
Where a bipolar disorder is involved, cryinggrandiosityinsomniairritability, andpersecutory delusions may all or severally manifest themselves as symptoms. (Emphases mine.)

What are the most common schizophrenic delusions?


From Helpguide.org:

◊ Delusions of persecution – Belief that others, often a vague “they,” are out to get him or her. These persecutory delusions often involve bizarre ideas and plots (e.g. “Martians are trying to poison me with radioactive particles delivered through my tap water”).

◊ Delusions of reference – A neutral environmental event is believed to have a special and personal meaning. For example, a person with schizophrenia might believe a billboard or a person on TV is sending a message meant specifically for them.

◊ Delusions of grandeur – Belief that one is a famous or important figure, such as Jesus Christ or Napoleon. Alternately, delusions of grandeur may involve the belief that one has unusual powers that no one else has (e.g. the ability to fly).

◊ Delusions of control – Belief that one’s thoughts or actions are being controlled by outside, alien forces. Common delusions of control include thought broadcasting (“My private thoughts are being transmitted to others”), thought insertion (“Someone is planting thoughts in my head”), and thought withdrawal (“The CIA is robbing me of my thoughts”).

 

Imagination

 

I also imagined the half-dressed woman character as a film director with a predilection for obscure Japanese films and comics. What follows is an interpretive list of the films/comics/TV shows she would enjoy in her spare time, because I truly have no idea what any of these things are —

In which a silver-clad weirdo ruins a wonderful birthday party by setting the birthday ogre on fire and chopping her friends to pieces.

In which a woman returns home from work and finds her grandfather hosting gladiatorial tournaments on his tongue, instead of making dinner as he promised.
In which the heroic Graublar Shoggis III drives off grotesque little invaders from his home planet — for they only have two nostrils and wear red pants, both of which are anathema to the Mighty Goddess Barzulax.

Other posts by John Magnet Bell that you will find perfectly woody:

Captain Chunkypants

Stratospheric Beast

The Last Edwardian Stylite

 

About John Magnet Bell

John is a professional translator, writer and photographer. He writes about writing and he writes unconventional flashes of fiction at his website, Start Your Novel. Why? John explains his passion here.

Twitter: @StartYourNovel
Google+: JMBell
Tumblr: http://johnmagnetbell.tumblr.com/
Website: Start Your Novel

Please support John so that he can keep writing epic prompts! You can buy his shocking art at society6: http://society6.com/johnmagnetbell

Krag Tee Shirt by @StartYourNovel

Krag Tee Shirt by @StartYourNovel

Do you have an awesome story to share with us? Join the ranks of mad geniuses that make Geeky Antics rock. Email your proposal to stan.faryna@gmail.com

 

The Greatest Show on Earth is on Andaman road

The Greatest Show on Earth is on Andaman road

FlasFiction

by Stan Faryna
@Faryna

Stan Faryna & The Blue Sky - Stan The Marketing Man!

“I think I see something moving in the trees!” Dana gasped and pointed to a group of nearby trees as the tour bus inched down Andaman road.

 

George threw a bunch of bananas through his open window. Two young Jarawa scampered from behind bushes to the bananas laying at the side of road. Their eyes looked so full of joy. Dana snapped pictures with her iPhone.

 

The Jarawa young clicked and chanted. They stretched out their little hands and moved their fingers as if squeezing fruit.

 

“OMG!” said Dana. “I think they want more, George.

They’re trying to communicate with us! Do you see how they move their fingers? It’s so cute how they do it!”

A third Jarawa young appeared. He was holding an empty two liter plastic bottle of Coca Cola. He started to dance. His little black penis jiggled as he danced for the people on the bus.

“Do you think they like Coke,” George wondered outloud.

He took a last sip of cola and threw the half full can out the window. Cola exploded from the can and the three Jarawa dove for it. The victor pushed his lips forward against the top of the upside-down can to catch the last drops of Cola.

George laughed.

A thin, old Indian man with black skin and pink lips started yelling at George in perfect British English.

“Are all Europeans so primitive in your consciousness? These are human children. You are the animal. The Jarawa are not monkeys!”

“Mind your own business,” George replied. “We paid 100 Euro each for our seats. We’re all here for the show.

Are you here for something else?”

The old man smiled as he continued to point the video recorder at George’s face.

“I came to document the animals on the bus,” he finally answered George.

Postscript:

This flash fiction is based on a real life photo safari. It was inspired by a short documentary about a human tribe called the Jarawa – a so-called stone-age tribe that lives in India’s Andaman Islands.

Other posts by Stan that you will find illuminating and uplifting:

You Can Do Amazing Things
A Tribute to Maya Angelou
A Short Story of the Antichrist

About Stan Faryna

Stan Faryna is writing an epic novel. All of the world is crumbling like unrepaired, ancient walls but 18 year old gamer, blogger and entrepreneur John Dionysius finds the woman who he’s been dreaming about all of his life – a dream in which she is murdered as he watches helplessly from the eyes of a child.

Twitter: @Faryna
Facebook: Faryna.FanPage
Google+: +StanFaryna
Website: The Unofficial Blog of Stan Faryna

You can support Stan by helping his friend, Nisha Varghese (click on Nisha’s pic to make a donation).

Nisha Varghese

Nisha Varghese is an inspiration to Stan because she lives out the truth that she is bigger than her challenges. Among them, Cerebral Palsy. She too can save the world. Make it a better place for all of us. Nisha is a light and a gift unto the world.

Nisha’s website is here.